Selection Conundrum

I was out for lunch with a few of my colleagues when our conversation veered to the upcoming first Test match of the South African tour. After the usual rants of the performance of the cricket team, the topic turned to the selection for the first Test. Ok.. now lets see... who we "have to" play, whom needs to play and whom we dont need to fit into the team.

For starters, lets say, we decide to go in with 5 batsman, 1 wicketkeeper and 5 specialist bowlers. Starting with the batsmen, and there starting with the captain, Rahul Dravid. Now, there is one man without whom the Indian test team is just incomplete. There is no doubt at all, injury or not, he just will walk into the team. He cannot leave his boys out for the South African bowlers to feast on. So, he is in. Then we have his deputy, VVS Laxman. He was brought into the team all the way from India to bolster the One day team's performance. He definitely did that. He added one more to the team - ofcourse I meant, one more duck to the scorecard. Then there is the all time great Sachin Tendulkar. Now, there is no way, anybody would ever drop him from a team. Thats like blasphemy. Whether he is in form or not, he will get into the team. And then, there is the comeback man, our one and only "aap mujhe boole to nahin" dada, Saurav Ganguly. Now after his scintillating performance in the 1st innings of the practice match, and that too under pressure, there is no way he cannot be included in the team. Right ?? So, he is in too. Then, there is the ex vice captain, who has not yet been dropped from the Test team for whatever reasons. Its very unlikely that he will sit and warm the benches. So, he's also likely to play.

And so, we have five batsman in the team already. But wait, we still have only one opening batsman. No, no ... I did not mean, to open the duck farm. I meant to open the innings for India. Ok, now lets look at whom else do we have. Wasim Jaffer. Hmm... Did he come to play cricket or to start the duck farm. He definitely has collected the most number of ducks in this tour. So, unlikely that we can go ahead with him. We obviously cant send Rahul or Sachin or Laxman to open. And definitely not Saurav coz neither can he fend off balls from the fiery South African pacers nor does he have the technique to handle the rising ball. And moreover he scored his 83 odd runs playing down the order, not as an opener. Moreover drafting him in as an opener, would seem like a very unfair hit on his comeback trial. If he does not succeed, the whole of Calcutta will blame Rahul (and Ratan tata and George Bush) of course. So, its probably safer he does not open. Ok.... lets worry about the fifth slot a little later.

Going on... we have the wicket keeper slot. Now unlike the one day team which usually has a slot for "bits and pieces" players, the test team consists of specialist batsmen, bowlers and wicketkeeper. So, its unlikely that the test team will have two wicketkeepers. So, unlike the one-day team either Dhoni or Kaarthik has to be selected. Hmm... now that is probably the easy ones. Thats right.... we need to keep the sponsors happy.. choose the man who can get more advertisements going. That's right, just choose the guy with the long hair.

Hmm... now comes the specialist bowlers. We need to stick with three pacers and two spinners ??? hmm.. bouncy pitch with lots of cracks, maybe we need the guiles of the experienced Kumble. Okay... so kumble in. Can we afford another spinner ? Tough question. Lets pick the other pacers and then decide. So we start with Zaheer Khan, yes that dude has been bowling well, on his comeback trial. We definitely will need him. But we need two more. Is Munaf fit ? If he is, he should be making it to the team. There are two slots... and there are Sreesanth, VRV singh and Irfan Pathan. Considering the fact that Irfan was the prolific scorer of the practice match, he should be in the team. Additionally he can be asked to double up as the opener too. Hmm... never mind the fact that he played lower down the order in the practice match. but then we cannot sacrifice the others who have given us so many ducks on this tour. But hello... we were picking bowlers, why are we talking about batsmen. well, thats because this is the Indian cricket team... yahan pe sab kuch chalta hain. Okay then its settled he gets into the team.

Now that leaves only one question to be answered - the fifth bowler. Whom do we go with ? Sreesanth, VRV or Bhajji ?? Now, Bhajji can bat too. "hello !!! We were talking about bowlers !!" Okay okay... we will stick to their bowling. We know that Bhajji does not like the Kookaburra ball. But hey ... wait a minute. Does it really matter who the 11th man is ? Its a team game. We are likely to win only if all the 11 play good, not just the 11th man.